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| Two words I
would never associate with my childhood are "compassion" and
"encouragement." In 1999, on Father's Day, I wrote a letter that expresses
the guidance and love I wish I had received from my father. (He passed
away several years ago). The act of writing the letter was a very healing
process. Fortunately, I have a much healthier, loving relationship with my own two daughters. My older daughter is a journalist. My younger daughter is in her final year of law school. They are both remarkable young adults. I decided to give them a similar letter as a reminder of some of life's important lessons as well as a way to tell them one more time that no matter what may happen in their lives, they are truly loved. This, I believe, is the greatest gift a parent has to give. |
Dear Megan and Jamie: (Josephine, Jacelyn, Joanne and Jolyn)
Here are some guidelines . .
. rules of the road I would like to share with the two most wonderful daughters
in the world.
Never forget that you are
always loved. No matter what you do or where you go or what mistakes you make,
Mom and I will always love you. Follow your own heart and do what you want to
with your life not what other people think you should do.
Learn to accept your joys
and your sorrows. Through your sorrows you will grow and learn valuable lessons
about life and yourself. Your joys will cause you to reflect on the mystery and
beauty of life. Sorrows make the joys even sweeter. It's okay to be sad
sometimes. No one will think less of you. Don't hide your sadness . . . you
might not be able to find it when you need to. It's okay to let another person
comfort you. Going through your own hardships will then enable you to comfort
others.
Face your fears. When you're
afraid, find someone you can talk to and trust. Some of your fears are justified
and serve to protect you from real harm. But, most of them will prevent you from
expanding your life. More often than not, your greatest fears are in your
imagination and don't exist in reality. Recognize your nightmares as just fears
in technicolor. Observe them as you would a horror movie. Be scared but don't
let your fears paralyze you. If all else fails, come to me for a hug. Even if
it's in the middle of the night. I'll always have time for you.
Don't be afraid to dream
big. The sky's the limit. You won't be able to do everything in life. So, don't
limit yourself while you're still young . . . there's plenty of other people who
are willing to do that for you. You can accomplish anything if you set your mind
to it. Realize that major victories are the result of many small efforts. Work
hard every day. Be diligent in your studies. These are two of the things that
great accomplishments are made of.
Sometimes you'll succeed and sometimes
you'll fail. Don't let this fact slow you down. There is usually a degree of
pain associated with going outside your comfort zone. You'll get stuck if you
don't accept some risk. I hope you continue to expand your lives in new and
exciting directions.
Communicate. So much of our
unhappiness arises from our unwillingness to engage in honest dialogue with
others. When talking about something is the most difficult, you probably need to
do it the most. I will always be here for you when you need to talk. Don't be
reluctant to seek out help when you need it. No one said we have to do it all
alone.
Be nice to others. Have
compassion for their sufferings. Avoid gossip. Your friends' feelings can be
hurt just as easily as yours can. On the other hand, speak out against
injustice. Do not tolerate abuse.
There are many ways to
define a successful life. Ask yourself what you would like people to say about
you when you are old. How do you want to feel about yourself? Then, let that
guide your decisions and actions. Be a person of integrity. Honor your
commitments whenever possible-especially your commitments to yourself. But, also
learn to forgive yourself. Perfection is a futile goal.
Finally, and perhaps most
important:
Make your spiritual
development a lifetime journey. Some truths are universal; some might apply to
you alone. Seek them out and try to let your actions be guided by them. Find
ways and take the time to tap into your Buddha nature -- that place where you
are filled with wisdom and compassion for yourself and others. Add your own
uniqueness to the tapestry of human life. And respect others' uniqueness as they
go about their journeys. In this way, you will be able to make the most of each
precious moment.
Always know you have a father who loves you more than life
itself!
Copyright 2004 Michael
Lisagor
Comments from Michael : Thank you for asking! Beautiful web site. I would be happy to have my letter on your web site.
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